Rutgers-New Brunswick prides itself on being one of the best state universities in the country. Here at Rutgers-New Brunswick, you’re able to receive a great education at a modestly affordable price. RU is currently trying to shake the bad name it has been given over the past few years (thanks to Delafest, Rutgersfest, the Mike Rice fiasco, etc) by building its academic profile noted by the university’s recent partnership with UMDNJ (now Rutgers School of Biomedical and Health Sciences). We were going to make a “Best of…” list but we thought this would be funnier. Read below as we offer 10 Unfortunate Events Every Rutgers Student Must Encounter. Take five minutes out of your day to read this marvelous piece.
READ PART ONE
6) Sleeping In The Livingston Towers For Freshmen Orientation
Freshmen Orientation was an overall great experience, you made new friends and some great memories that you’ll cherish for a lifetime (or until the end of your college career). The one dark spot of Orientation was sleeping in the overbearingly-hot Livingston Towers (during July/August) which didn’t have central air or any air conditioning at all for that matter. Such a rude awakening. They did warn us before hand to bring fans but damn, we didn’t think we would have to take up residence in Death Valley. I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t lay in one place for too long out of fear that I’d make a sweat imprint on my bed sheets. I remember going to sleep at 4 a.m. and waking up in a pool of sweat (no gas). And you couldn’t take any article of clothing off because you didn’t want to cross social/roomie boundaries with your roommate. LOSE-LOSE situation.
Side note: The incoming class (Class of 2017) apparently was allowed to sleep in the Livingston Apartments during their orientation. RU SCREW?
7) Riding Buses During Rush Hour At Scott Hall
*LX, LX, LX, LX, H, LX, LX, A, EE, LX, LX, LX, F*
WARNING: DO NOT SCHEDULE CLASSES BETWEEN THE TIMES OF 4 P.M. TO 7 P.M. ON COLLEGE AVE IF YOU ARE COMMUTING TO/FROM ANOTHER CAMPUS. You may try and leave class early to beat the rush but there’s usually already a crowd/mob of people already anxiously waiting for the bus. When the bus does arrive and the doors open you have to throw bows and use the “hit stick” to properly position yourself to get ahead of the line. It’s bad enough that the bus ticker doesn’t accurately give you a measure of how much time is left before the next bus. You may be stuck at Scott Hall for 20 mins waiting for a bus that is supposed to be “Arriving”. And when you’re on the bus you have to keep your calm because people are bound to cross all personal boundaries and violate you without saying “excuse me”. You may be enticed to throw the hands or give someone the “Bitch, lick the dirt off my sneakers” look. Oh, don’t forget that one person who wants to reserve a seat for their backpack.
Best advice: Walk to the RSC (Rutgers Student Center) and wait there for your bus to arrive, doing this will vastly improve your chances of getting a seat or good positioning on the bus.
8) PARKING TICKETS
RU PARKING AUTHORITY = F.E.D.S.
I PAY ALMOST $24,000 (INSTATE) TO ATTEND THIS COLLEGE, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO PARK EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE, AT ANY TIME. We’re broke college students, we have to save every penny that we possibly can! We can’t afford to be paying $25-$75 dollar tickets. We need that money for alcohol.
Rumor has it that the money acquired from the parking tickets given by the RU Parking Authority pay for the entire Rutgers-New Brunswick bus system annually.
9) While Your Taking An Online Test RU Wireless Disconnects
It’s bad enough that RU Wireless is NEVER at full connectivity but what takes the cake is when you’re about to submit an online test (which is stacked with open ended questions and short answers that you had to really took time out to search for) and in a blink of an eye the connection is lost. EVERYTHING IS GONE. And in disbelief, you stare blankly at the screen and then proceed to click refresh to see if there’s a possibility you can get your work back. NOPE.
Then you say to yourself, “Fuck this class, I give up. I’m studying Communications.”
10) Stretching Meal Swipes
“You tryna swipe me in?”
When it comes down to those last couple weeks in the semester the game of stretching meal swipes comes into effect. For instance, you may only have 21 swipes left to which you are forced to stretch over three weeks. You may choose to eat once a day and mooch off friends for meals. You could also opt to bring Ziploc bags and plastic food containers to the dining hall in efforts of thieving some food for later usage. Another option is calling a significant other and/or side piece to guest swipe you in, you may might not want to be seen with this side piece but hey, you do need to eat right? Incoming freshmen, be aware of people becoming extra friendly towards you around the end of the semester, the only want to put to use your extra 50+ meal swipes.
American Beau 